
Plans to carry a burning stick through Britain for all the proles to gawp at faced a setback today, after David Beckham assumed it must be his birthday.
Euro crisis escalates as playground value of England squad Panini stickers plummets
With expectations of an England triumph at Euro 2012 at an all-time low, the swapsy value of Panini stickers featuring the 23-man squad has reached rock-bottom.
Hodgson slammed over decision to omit Daventry 5-a-side league’s top scorer
As football fans all over the country took turns in criticising the omission of their club’s players from England’s Euro 2012 squad, friends of Steve Harris, who has scored 228 goals in his local 5-a-side league, have slammed the decision to overlook the in-form striker.
Amidst claims that her arrest is part of a witch hunt, it has been revealed that Rebekah Brooks will face trial by ducking stool.
The parents of Madeleine McCann have been given the clearest indication yet that their daughter might be alive after psychic Derek Acorah claimed that his spirit guide told him ‘She’s not on this earth any more’.
- @Joey7Barton in fresh assault on Twitter servers
- Campaign calls for home-brewing to be added to Scottish school curriculum
- Britain breeds, owns and neuters talent
- Glory-hunters begin checking family tree for tenuous links to Man City
- Man City title inspires school teams to buy strong fast children from other countries
- Facebook trials new ‘paid tedium’ feature
- Foreign paedos taking work from White British paedos, claim EDL and BNP
- Brooks reveals Cameron thought ‘WTF’ meant Wow That’s Fantastic
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Sport
Euro crisis escalates as playground value of England squad Panini stickers plummets
With expectations of an England triumph at Euro 2012 at an all-time low, the swapsy value of Panini stickers featuring the 23-man squad has reached rock-bottom.
Politics
Campaign calls for home-brewing to be added to Scottish school curriculum
As plans were unveiled for a minimum 50p charge per unit of alcohol in Scotland, residents have insisted that in return they’d like home-brewing to become a key skill for all young Scots.
Entertainment
Britain breeds, owns and neuters talent
Women across the nation have pointed their partners to the Britain’s Got Talent final as the perfect example of why testicles are merely a hindrance if you want to reach your true potential.
World
Facebook trials new ‘paid tedium’ feature
Facebook is trialling a new feature which will make it almost impossible to ignore the banal utterances of your most tedious friends, by allowing them to pay a fee to force their way onto your news feed.
Technology
@Joey7Barton in fresh assault on Twitter servers
Joey Barton was in the custody of Californian State police last night after launching a prolonged and vicious assault on Twitter Inc’s main Java server.
Science
Farts now definitely a legitimate classroom topic, insist students
Classrooms across the country are expected to be full of enthusiastic student opinions this week, after scientists insisted that dinosaur flatulence contributed to global warming.
Education
Farts now definitely a legitimate classroom topic, insist students
Classrooms across the country are expected to be full of enthusiastic student opinions this week, after scientists insisted that dinosaur flatulence contributed to global warming.
Business
Euro crisis escalates as playground value of England squad Panini stickers plummets
With expectations of an England triumph at Euro 2012 at an all-time low, the swapsy value of Panini stickers featuring the 23-man squad has reached rock-bottom.